Surprisingly I had very little of this anxiety last January. I was SO lucky to have found a great job for a company I already knew, to keep in touch with the same friends, and live in the same great apartment with the same great roommate and our beloved dogs. To have the same wonderful boyfriend that I got to continue to see on a weekly basis.
Life was great. I was stable, secure, and happy.
Then last week happened. Nate is most likely moving to California, and it's most likely all going to happen in a matter of weeks. I knew this, we've talked about it for months, but for some reason this week the severity of it all hit me like an open car door while going 30mph on my bike.
My best friend and partner in life is leaving New York and starting a new life, without me, on the other side of the country. Not to mention I need to move apartments in August and have no idea where I'm going to live or who I'm going to live with. And half of my friends that just graduated are moving and figuring out their own lives. Anxiety seems to be a hot topic and the "what are you going to do?" question is not allowed to be asked among MANY of my friends at the moment.
Change is good. Change is life. We're never going to be able to change change, we just have to learn how to deal with it more effectively, I keep telling myself. So I've been going to yoga everyday, I've been trying to accept that again, my life is about to change and that it's probably going to suck big time, but the sooner I accept that, and allow myself to be in the suckiness of it all instead of squirming and wishing it was 8 months from now, the sooner it will pass.
One day, it's all going to work out. I'm going to live happily ever after somewhere with someone. But things need to happen first. And I need to be patient enough to allow them to happen.
So I'm taking a deep breath, and bracing myself, with the help of my little puppy and a lot of yoga classes. Because IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OK!
