I look back on the last few years and realize that the greatest blessings I have been given have come in times of ultimate trust, faith, and surrender.   

And tonight I'm wondering if in order to really get what I want, I first have to stop wanting it, relax, detach myself, and surrender everything to the truth that my life will unfold in the way my life is meant to unfold.  

Its difficult to trust that our failures, rejection, and pain are part of a larger more elaborate plan, but I'm learning its in these moments that this trust is most imperative.

The Sanskrit word for this is Tapah- accepting pain as purification.

What a beautiful way to look at it. 

I feel like the sooner I can let go of my obsessive worrying and contemplating, and wanting, and surrender it all, the sooner I will receive what I'm looking for. 

The Yoga Sutras (which have given me little bits of immaculate clarity in the last few weeks) and the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita -- all talk about this sense of surrender.

Sutra 1.20 says, 

"Through faith, which will give sufficient energy to achieve success against all odds, direction will be maintained.  The realization of the goal of Yoga is a matter of time."

and Sutra 1.23 says, 

"Samadhi is attained by devotion with total dedication to God"

I love this.  I love that it is not just "a few prayers to God" or "some faith in God" or "alot of pleading to God when things are going wrong" but its total dedication. 

And with total dedication comes complete trust. 

So, here in writing, for the internet world to see, is my surrender, my letting go, my trust to let be what is meant to be and be patient enough to let happen what is meant to happen.