No one could have anticipated the events of the last two days.
Both a massive snow storm and a life-changing opportunity.
I got a job.
A great job, a job I never could have imagined getting 6 days after graduation.
I am currently training to fill the position of Workshop Coordinator for a company I already know and love.
It is very exciting.
Views from my window Wednesday night
Thursday morning
What a great view to wake up to on my first day of work!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Yesterday was my first official weekday as a graduate.
School started...and I was not there.
I woke up early, went to work, went to a yoga class, walked the dogs and then came home and job searched
I am learning to accept that I am in a transitionatory stage, and that's okay.
I don't know what job I'll get, when I'll get it, where I'll be living or what I'll be doing a year from now.
I don't know if I'll be in the same city, state or even country as Nate come summer.
I don't know what's going to happen.
But I'm learning to be okay with that. This is where I am now, so I need to just be here, as uncomfortable and awkward as it is.
Last Thursday I finished class forever, turned on Somewhere Over the Rainbow, hopped on my bike and road out onto the cold streets of New York never to return to Washington Square Park as a student again.
Then Nate drove in to celebrate with me.
We made tacos with lots of guacamole and then he took me to Veniero's and we came back and sipped tea and split a canoli and a red velvet cupcake.
The sudden realization that my formal education is over is has been met with this sudden sense of responsibility to continue to learn. There are no more assignments, or textbooks, now it's completely up to me what I devote my time to, and that, to me, is so exciting.
I've been reading everyday, starting new books, revisiting the yoga sutras, reviewing my giant teacher training binder. My goal is to sit down and read at least half an hour a day.
I'm really excited about this.
...
After bike riding 6 months in a neon green helmet I got for free from the department of transportation, I decided to invest in this awesome thing. A nutcase helmet!
...
On a more embarrassing note- people deal with stress in different ways.
And lately I have been dealing with stress in a somewhat unconventional, somewhat psychotic, but healthy way:
planning my future wedding.
RELAX.
I am not engaged, nor am I at all close to being engaged. (Hence, the psychotic part!)
But as embarrassing as it is, looking at wedding dresses and cakes and locations and reading articles soothes me in a way nothing else does.
I will get married one day.
When and to who is yet to be decided, but until then I am allowing myself to indulge in the totally unpractical, completely ridiculous task of planing my future wedding.
So, there you have it, life post-graduating isn't that bad!
The last few days have been filled with the dirtier aspects of being a dog owner...if you know what I mean!
2 days ago I took Pumpkin outside, she did her bussiness (both bussinesses), we walk back up to the apartment and I get onto my computer when all of a sudden a hear an ear-piercing yelp! I jump up to see what's happened and I see Pumpkin, eyes bulging out of her head, glaring back at her backside, racing scooting across the entire apartment, yelping all the time. Then I look, and I see a a string, yes a string, of poop hanging from her butt! She was literally running from the poop hanging from her own butt, in terror, while scooting! She is a sensative dog.
Then this morning we go outside, she does her bussiness. We come inside, I hop on my computer and I hear chewing. I look over at her, brace yourself, and she is EATING HER OWN POOP. I was so shocked I quickly got it away from her, and cleaned up. Then five minutes later I walk into the living room and I her about to chomp on another whole poop! She is now currently so scared, she won't even look at me after the yelling she got. I am so disgusted with her she will not get any loving for days.
Then tonight I do some doggy deeds google searching and I find this lovely article:
Why Dogs Eat Poop: 20 Reasons
1. Your dog might be hungry. If your dog doesn't have access to food, he might eat poop.
2. Some dogs will eat poop to clean up an area like a housekeeper. This is most likely if your dog is confined to a crate or kennel, or when he's chained up or otherwise restricted. He's taking care of his space.
3. If your dog likes to carry poop, and then eat it, it could be genetics. Some dogs have instincts to carry stuff in their mouths.
4. Your dog might be eating poop because of parasites or worms. They can suck nutrients out of your dog, driving him to eat poop. It might also leave him extra hungry because of the lack of proper fuel.
5. Your dog might be eating cat poop or other animal poop to get key nutrients and minerals not available in his own food.
6. Some dogs will simply eat poop to pass the time. Dogs will eat poop because they are bored or lonely. It can be a sign of neglect.
7. Your dog might eat poop because he's anxious, nervous or otherwise upset. Stress will drive animals to do odd things.
8. Some dogs will eat poop to hide the evidence. If you punish your dog for pooping, he might eat it to stop you from getting angry.*
9. If your dog has puppies, she might eat puppy poop. This is an instinct to hide the poop from predators. Poop is evidence. Getting ride of it keeps her puppies safe.
10. Some young dogs and puppies will eat poop as a novelty. That is, they'll eat poop as an experiment. They don't know better.
11. If your dog watches you pick up poop, he might learn to do the same. This is called allelomimetic behavior. Your dog observes you and learns from you, by putting the poop in his mouth you put poop in a bag.
12. Your dog might see others dogs eating poop. From this, they learn to eat poop too.
13. Many dogs simply like the taste of poop. This obviously doesn't make sense to dog owners but that's irrelevant. Some dog like to eat it and that's that. It's warm, moist, and very much like what your dog was given as a very young puppy.
14. If your dog food lacks key nutrients, he might eat poop. Your dog is trying to get "food" with nutrients any way possible, even from his own poop.
15. Sometimes dog poop seems like dog food. This can happen when dog food is low quality and includes materials that are easily passed and not absorbed by your dog. When the dog poops, it seems to be very much like the food he just consumed!
16. In some cases, dogs will eat poop if they are given too much food. This is especially true if your dog's diet is high in fat.
17. Some dogs will eat poop to gain attention. Many dog owners get very upset when their dog eats poop, which means the dog gets attention. This is a wonderful opportunity for your dog to interact with you, although it is because of negative attention.
18. It is possible that some dogs will eat the poop of other, more dominant dogs. Your dog might be more submissive than other dogs, resulting in strange poop eating behavior. This seems to occur more in households with multiple dogs where dominance and submission is a factor. Obviously this doesn't explain much about dogs eating cat poop or other animal poop.
19. It is possible that your dog wants to eat more than one time per day. If you only feed your dog once per day, and your dog eats poop, it could be an indication they want to eat more frequently.
20. In some cases, your dog will eat poop by accident. Dogs are curious and will try to eat almost anything, including poop. Dogs explore the world through taste and smell, much more than humans.
-found here
*We think that #8 seems the most likely reason for Pumpkin.
And this:
Both of these selections made my night. Sometimes life is just so disgusting all you can do is laugh.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I look back on the last few years and realize that the greatest blessings I have been given have come in times of ultimate trust, faith, and surrender.
And tonight I'm wondering if in order to really get what I want, I first have to stop wanting it, relax, detach myself, and surrender everything to the truth that my life will unfold in the way my life is meant to unfold.
Its difficult to trust that our failures, rejection, and pain are part of a larger more elaborate plan, but I'm learning its in these moments that this trust is most imperative.
The Sanskrit word for this is Tapah- accepting pain as purification.
What a beautiful way to look at it.
I feel like the sooner I can let go of my obsessive worrying and contemplating, and wanting, and surrender it all, the sooner I will receive what I'm looking for.
The Yoga Sutras (which have given me little bits of immaculate clarity in the last few weeks) and the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita -- all talk about this sense of surrender.
Sutra 1.20 says,
"Through faith, which will give sufficient energy to achieve success against all odds, direction will be maintained. The realization of the goal of Yoga is a matter of time."
and Sutra 1.23 says,
"Samadhi is attained by devotion with total dedication to God"
I love this. I love that it is not just "a few prayers to God" or "some faith in God" or "alot of pleading to God when things are going wrong" but its total dedication.
And with total dedication comes complete trust.
So, here in writing, for the internet world to see, is my surrender, my letting go, my trust to let be what is meant to be and be patient enough to let happen what is meant to happen.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I'm taking Music in New York as my last humanities class as well as last class of undergrad ever.
It still gives me chills to say that!
It's a 3 week class, and probably the most relaxed easy class I've ever taken, but I sort of anticipated that from the title.
So as part of my class we were required to go to this middle eastern concert/venue/restaurant/bar thing in the village friday night. I brought Nate and Ashley and it was quite the experience. We listened to bands from Bulgaria and Syria, ate lamb skewers, cous cous, and the best baklava I have ever had.
Last night Nate and I drove out to Long Island, where the firehouse Nate volunteers at had a giant dinner/dance. We got there, it was nice- they had an open bar, a sushi bar, fruit, meats, pasta.
And because we are poor college students, Nate and I took full advantage of the free food and "stuffed our faces" in the most polite way possible for about 2 hours. Right when we were about ready to go home they called everyone into another room.
A full dining room with elaborate place settings and menus for a 3 course meal!
We had no idea.
Then we then ate prime rib.
And Nate got an award for midshipman who went on the most ambulance calls in the last year.
Now I am back at work and back to job searching and trying to orchestrate my wide open life that begins two weeks from now!
I went to yoga tonight for the first time in 3 weeks.
The teacher read one of the Yoga Sutras, which I had remembered from teacher training but hadn't revisited since:
"By cultivating attitudes of
friendliness toward the happy,
compassion for the unhappy,
delight in the virtuous,
and disregard toward the wicked,
the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calmness."
-Sutra 1:33
In my copy of the sutras the commentary underneath this particular sutra says whether you practice yoga or not, have huge life goals, or don't, this sutra is for everyone. And those who follow it will see its effect on their peace of mind.
And if everyone had a peaceful mind what a place the world would be.
The one that stands out most to me is "disregard" toward the wicked (or "unvirtuous" in other translations).
It's so easy to be angry, upset, and defiant toward the wicked things and people in life. Or to try to change them, "fix" them, or advise them, but the sutra says to retain a peaceful mind - "disregard" the wicked.
This makes things complicated when the "wicked" are people you have an obligation to- whether they are family, classmates, coworkers, or just people you're stuck with.
I struggle with this alot, I think we all do.
And I think upon reading this those specific people that just get under your skin, that represent everything you don't want to be, and threaten everything you are, that make you question the good of humanity come to mind.
I know they do for me!
I think this will become one of my goals for the new year.
My little girl had the surgery yesterday. She is fixed. No puppies in her future.
I dropped her off at the Humane Society yesterday morning, felt horrible just leaving her there, and was not ready for what I got when I picked her up - a very horrible feeling, sad puppy.
It breaks my heart to see my Pumpkin, known for how happy she is, very very sad. Not to mention "the cone of shame" which I try to keep off of her if she isn't licking.
She's feeling better today, but far from herself. She's currently sleeping to Through A Dog's Ear, a cd I got that has been proven to actually lower dog's heart rate and calm them. I hope it helps. I feel like such a mom!
In better news, New York greeted me with lots and lots of snow.
Snowed in cars
RIP the 1st Avenue bike lane
Unfortunately I have yet to see any actually fall from the sky this year, but there's tons on the ground. Pumpkin wasn't sure how to handle it. She investigated, wondered why her once grassy pee-spot was now white and a foot taller than normal, and why it collapsed when she walked on it! After investigating it, she began to love it. Racing from one end to the other, burying her face in it. And you, my friends, get to experience some prime puppy's first snow footage right here:
I also came back just in time for Nate's birthday - the big 22 - he's finally catching up to me. I am a cougar, what can I say. We relaxed, went for a walk, I cooked him dinner - his mom's famous mac and cheese, and took him to Max Brenner for dessert. We had the ultimate- fondue with bananas, strawberries and marshmallows, complete with a mini fire for roasting! We also had a tray full of all things chocolate. It was pretty epic.
For New Years eve we watched a million episodes of Bones, addressed Christmas card envelopes, went to Eatily - the world's largest and newest Italian Grocery store, which was all too overwhelming, ate at Patsy's Pizza, and rang in the New Year watching fireworks on the east river with Pumpkin, who decided to take a poop precisely at midnight.
The Empire State Building on New Year's Eve
New Years day we continued our Bones marathon and took a wintry drive upstate to a little town called Tarrytown in Westchester. Nate and I sort of fell in love with it, him - because of its small town traditional east coast feel, me- because of that and that fact that its one metro north ride away from my beloved city. We then went on an expedition for cheese and discovered the cutest little old fashioned cheese shop, bought some dutch beanster cheese, and some soft brie, along with wine and pruscuito and salami and had ourselves a perfect european dinner.
