So my last post was a little bleak.  

Things have been...better. 

But I can't help but realize just how long I have been in New York. 

I adore this city, and fall in love with it over and over again, and would probably cry a thousand tears if and when I ever have to leave it. 

BUT...

It's a city you need a break from! 

And I have not had a REAL, longer than 2-day, nice change of location and scenary break since the beginning of January. 

And let me tell you, it is wearing on me! 

There's something about just walking downt the streets in New York that is very energizing. 

The city is alive, filled with people pursueing their passions, filled with people, most of whom left "somewhere else" to come to New York to pursue something bigger. 

It's one of the largest, most historical, culturally and artistically rich cities in our country.

It's powerful.  So powerful, in fact, that just walking down the street makes you feel energized. 

But when you've had a bit too much, the city seems to work against you, sucking the energy right out of you on the street. 

And that is exactly how I feel. 

Like the energy as been sucked out of me. 

And lately, despite how cliche I think tropical vacations are...

I have been CRAVING Hawaii. 

The beautiful set of Island I spent my childhood visiting almost every summer. 

I have a Cognition test tomorrow, which is going to be HARD, and work after that, and rehearsal early the next morning as well as on Easter (its kind of a sin- rehearsal on Easter. I know!)  And German to practice, and laundry to do, and Italian visas to apply for.  But right now all I can think about is how I'd so much rather be  

 right here. 

picture from here.

 

 Excuse me while I set my optimism aside.  Lately, I've felt like I'm standing on the train platform, ready to go, belongings in hand, but not a single train seems to want to pick me up.  I mean this both literally and figuratively.  Last week, I actually left on time for class (for those of you who really know me- you know what an excellent feat this is).  I get to the subway just in time to make the train.  It slows down and eventually stops...there is a long pause where everyone on the platform just waits....then the doors open- not the doors to the platform but the doors on the other side!!! The doors that lead to the middle of the subway tracks.  The doors then close and the train leaves.  Thus is my life.  Or so it has felt lately.  That no matter how hard I try, or how much I want things, or how ready I am, no subway is willing to pick me up.  They are all either going in the wrong direction, not currently taking passengers, an express that will take me way farther than I want to go, or shut their doors just as I make it to the platform.  

I am so ready for summer. 

I emailed a cavalier breeder the other day with hopes to make future puppy adoption plans only to find out her puppies START, yes, START at $1500!!! - There go my dreams! 

I have had zero motivation to function as a normal college student. 

I have 1201401298102 lines to memorize IN GERMAN- which I've already had 1 nightmare about.

I've had the same back injury for over a year that loves to flare up and SPASM everytime I'm stressed. 

I woke up with a giant, I mean giant zit smack in the middle of my nose yesterday. (I thought I'd left teenage years behind?)
Despite the fact that New York decided to give us a whole week of beautiful Spring weather, its now back to the 30s with RAIN all week. 

I haven't had time for yoga in forever. 

I haven't had time for ME in forever. 

And things just have not been going my way.

K

Kind of how I feel? 
 

It's 2:00am 

And I am ready for tomorrow. 

(Even though is does look slightly like a giant glob of goo)

I'm going to make a fun mom one day...just saying.

Big Things.

Big things have happened in the last two weeks! 

1.  My mom and little brother, Derek visited New York for a few days with his 8th grade class.  I got to meet them for dinner, go to the top of the rock, and since I had a very convenient snow day, go with them to The Met.  Derek is officially taller than me, and now a 'totally cool' teenager.

2. I was in a movement project at Adler - The Comedy of Tyranny - possibly the most difficult and painful creative process I have ever been a part of.  It was a learning experience. That is all I'm going to say. 

3. I went to the International Yoga Therapy Conference here in New York last Saturday.  It was an early b-day present, and probably the best thing I could ask for.  So inspirational.  I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to learn from such incredible teachers.  It was an all day event with 3 workshops on Yoga and Alignment, Yoga and Chronic Pain, and Yoga for Grief Relief, as well as a panel discussion.  Going to this event made me realize how much I actually know.  I feel like its so brilliant when the same subject comes up through different disciplines, and it is so confirming to know the things I learned in a movement studio class, are the same as I learned in an intensive workshop with Rena Mireka (a polish yoga/movement/theatre guru of sorts)  last spring, and the same as a movement practicum class I took at nyu, and the same as yogaworks teacher training.  It also made me realize how far I have to go to be able to not only fully understand this stuff, but be able to teach it in a way that can help others.  It's a process, but nevertheless, its so insipiring to see these beautiful teachers helping people, and really living their yoga.  I want to be like them. 

4. I went to a CAS (college of arts and sciences- at nyu) Semi-formal.  Probably the only real big nyu event I have gone to, but totally fun.  I went with my friends Kathleen and Emily, and Nate.  We danced, ate a 3 course meal, and enjoyed unlimited (alcohol -free) drinks all for 15 bucks.  It was a fun night. 

5. I got cast in a show!  We got our cast lists for the realism shows the 3rd year students at alder are in this spring.  I am in Kindertransport, a play about a little Jewish girl (Eva- that's me!) who is sent by her parents from Nazi Germany to England in order to escape the holocaust.  The play follows her story from age 9-17 (which I play).  And then again at age 60 or so with her daughter as she is confronted by her past.  I have to learn 4 pages of German, and have a pretty intense German turned English accent.  It's going to be a lot of work.  But I'm very excited. 

6. My friend J.Byars came to visit on her Spring break.  We hung out, went out, walk around New York.  It was great. 

7. Nate and I went to Newport, RI.  This weekend.  We drove Laz.  It rained the ENTIRE time we were there.  But it was still fun.  Newport is beautiful.  My grandparents are originally from there, although I'd never been.  We tried looking for their old house, and I asked practically every old man in town whether he knew my great-grandpa - knowbody did.  The houses in Newport are as picturesque as you could imagine.  I found my top 3 dream houses.  We toured a mansion, and ate at Newport Creamery (twice)!  

Me on the steps of the mansion we toured. 

Nate drinking an Aweful Aweful at Newport Creamery. 

 They went fast. 

 Dream house #1. How whimsical! 

Dream house #2. Classic. 

Becautiful, but rainy Newport.

8 (And my lucky # btw). I got into Florence for Study Abroad for this summer!  It's a commedia dell'arte program through Tisch.  Which is very exciting.

A thought for the day: 

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” 

-Patanjali

I am going to a yoga therapy conference this weekend. 
I am beyond excited.