A good one. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times.
Uplifting, right?
I picked it up as part of an assignment for my mentor group in teacher training the weekend of the hurricane. It's quit a powerful book too, because the day I bought it life was quit dandy. I was happy, starting teacher training, loving my job etc. I even remember thinking what a good book to read while things AREN'T falling apart! Oddly enough about a half an hour after I brought the book home, things started to fall apart, remember this? Same night.
But it's a good book. And a fitting book for where I am and what I'm learning, both in teacher training and in life. It's written from the standpoint of buddhist philosophy from a wonderfully inspiring monk named Pema Chodron (apparently everyone in the yoga world knew her except for me). The biggest lesson I'm learning, and continuing to learn is the idea of being what is- especially now.
I think she highlights it best when she says,
"Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."
I'm trying to let there be room. Or at least I've been trying for the past three months or so. I think we create room through a yoga practice. Try to be open and ready, and accepting of all life brings us, and know that nothing in this world is permanent but impermanence and somehow making peace with that.
I've been surviving. Things have gotten easier. Roaches go away in the winter, and I've become a fierce bitch (sorry, it's the only word that accurately describes what I'm trying to say!) who walks down the dark brooklyn streets at night in my new leather snow boots, mace and keys in hand, literally ready to kill anyone who dares threaten me. I'm getting stronger.
I've also reconnected with a lot of people from the past, who have left, and are now back. It's nice. Friends from high school or freshman year who have moved to New York.
I fly home in 31 days for Christmas and have been preparing more and more each day. Christmas songs are getting me through! I started listening the last week in October, embarrassing. Also I've started cooking again, baking to be specific! And it feels great. Nate and I are spending Christmas together for the first time in 4 Christmases, and words cannot describe how excited that makes me. I'm going to cook tons.
So life isn't so bad. Also this is what it looks like 5 blocks from my apartment right now. Few things are more beautiful than the Pacific North East in the Fall.
