I am currently in the process of:

finding a subletter

submitting study abroad forms

planning a budget for the summer & fall

making travel plans

NOT SLEEPING

writing a paper that was due a week ago 

preparing a powerpoint presentation 

studying for my cognition final 

reviewing 23209482 lines, 12092 of which are in German

preparing for Lisal's wedding in California on friday 

PROCRASTINATING

rehearsing for approximately 8 hours a day now for 4 days in a row 

finding a good cavalier breeder with a litter this summer 

working to earn money 

planning for my dad's visit to ny in two weeks 

completing psychology research requirements

AND

NOT HAVING ANY SOCIAL LIFE WHATSOEVER

Oh, and I'm sick!  

OM SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI! 

Today I saw a man covered in tattoos with plugs the size of cheeseburgers, clearly on drugs twitching on the subway and his presence really scared me.  I saw 2 women who came in to take a Prenatal class at the Eastside studio with diamond rings literally the size of ring pops (remember those?- who would want a ring that big, I don't know!).  I saw an injured woman in a walker walking literally one inch at a time because that's all she could do and her dog patiently beside her gazing up at her one paw at a time, I could see in their eyes how much love they had for eachother. 

Today I learned that studies have shown great evidence that expertise is reached almost purely through practice, and although its very controversial, there is little to no evidence that talent actually exists.  I really love my cognition class.

It has been a crazy week.  I emailed 36 breeders after the Saturdays very sad event.  I learned that cavalier breeders are some of the rudest, most condescending snobs I have ever emailed, with very special exceptions.  I am still on the hunt for little pumpkin, but prospects are looking good.  I have been living and breathing little German Eva, the character I'm playing in Kindertransport.  And monday I did my first ever MRI.  Don't worry, nothing is wrong with me.  I did it for money.  $50 dollars to be exact, for two hours of my time.  Let me tell you, when you want something badly enough your money-making strategies can get VERY creative.  I don't think I would do it again however.  I was in the machine for almost a full two hours, pressing a button every 9 seconds or so (LOST anyone? - unfortunately I've been too busy to watch it this week!)  And when I got out my neck hurt and I felt dizzy and nauseous for hours.  Nate was in California last weekend so I haven't had my "relaxing, not a care in the world, I'm in love" time in almost 2 weeks.  It's funny how spending time with certain people can instantly relax you and calm you down.  Nate definitely does this for me.  I can be a giant stress ball but when he gets there for a short period of time it seems to melt away and without my weekly dose of it I begin to stop functioning.  I'm thinking about keeping him around.

This photo makes my day everytime I see it. 

1000AwesomeThings.com

Today I saw a woman stand in a 40 minute line in Trader Joes only to buy 4 bannanas, then at the last minute get out of line to grab 4 more.  I laughed out loud. 

Today I learned that sometimes the more you love someone the more you want to kill them.

Horrible Horrible Horrible day.

I woke up bright and early this morning to go to work. 

I have been working tons and my cavalier puppy fund has reached $500 dollars - a big accomplishment. 

New York has decided despite weekends of sun, that it is not ready for Spring because it was cold and rainy. 

Nate is in California for his Grandpa's funeral. 

I get to work, when I notice an email from my puppy breeder.  We've been keeping in contact and the puppy mom is due for x-rays monday to see how many pups there are and due to have them in about a week and a half. 

I open up the email and I read "She went into labor early" 

My first though is "oh my god- exciting?"  

Then I read, "she delivered 1 puppy, there were 2 remaining pups both of which were dead when born". 

I could not believe it. 

I feel so horrible for the breeder, for the puppy mom, for the puppies that died, and for me. 

I don't know what to do, little pumpkin seems farther away than ever. 

I went to yoga after work and realized as much as it sucks, I wasn't meant to have a puppy from that litter.  

One of those puppies was not meant to be my pumpkin. 

So I am back to sqaure one, with $500 and a heart mourning what could have been. 

It's a sad, sad, day.

Today I saw 

A man do the sign of the cross in the middle of a subway station.
A man with giant Chinese symbols tattooed to his face.

Today I learned
That memorizing, learning, and speaking German well enough to perform it convincingly enough that people could believe I am a 9-year old immigrant is probably one of the most difficult tasks I have ever been given.

That I am no where near ready to leave New York or this phase of my life.

How to get something notarized.

Today I saw 20 dogs glaring up at me from the basement of a puppy day-care. 

Today I learned how powerful it is to "be present". 

All spending has come to a screeching halt, I've worked 11 hours in the last two days, and the puppy fund is growing exponentially. 

 I am not afraid to work hard for what I want. :)

picture from here.

Something I Saw & Something I Learned

Once upon a time.  

Freshman year of college I had a very wise teacher named Ron Burrus. 

He wanted to teach us how to exist in the moment, to be present and alive, to see things anew every day. 

And everyday at the beginning of class he would ask us two things: 

1. What did you see? 

and 

2. What have you learned about yourself, life, or the world around you. 

Even though its been over 2 years since this class, I still catch myself documenting the answers to these questions in my mind.  So from now on I'd like to start documenting them outside of my mind.  Because New York City is amazing and I'm at a point where my life changes everyday. 

So here it is: 

Today I saw a woman riding a bike with a prosthetic leg through Astor Place, a dead rat floating in the water of the subway tracks, a man that looked so much like Russell Crowe it could have been him.

Today I learned that I have a lot to be excited about this summer.

My boats, Pillows, Easter, and Pumpkin the dog.

This East weekend was pretty dang fabulous! 

It started off Friday night by doing approximately 1-month worth of laundry with the love of my life.  

And let me tell you doing even the worst task done with someone you love can be an adventure. 

In the midst of the piles and piles of clothes, I reached in my closet to look for a comfy pair of shoes to wear downstairs to the laundy room.  Without realizing it I grabbed...my boats. 

Let me take a moment to explain. 

My boats are a very beloved article of mine. 

Every year for christmas, my grandma (travel agent extraordinaire) conducts a gift exchange. 

But unlike normal gift exchanges, this gift exchange consists of her pulling out all the random, ridiculous, and sometimes absolutely hideously cooky gifts she gets for free from cruiselines, airlines, hotels, ect. 

And one year I was lucky enough to recieve 

MY BOATS. 

The warmest, most eye-popping cruise-ship shaped slippers ever to exist on the planet. 

I LOVE them. 

And let me tell you the moment Nate saw my boats, it was love at first sight (and not between me and him, if you know what I mean!)  He thought they were the greatest creation known to man. 

I believe the first words out of his mouth were 

"OH MY GOD. I AM TAKING THOSE TO SCHOOL WITH ME". 

________________________________________

On another note.  

I went to an International Pillow Fight in Union Sq. saturday afternoon. 

Over 1000 people, feathers everywhere. 

Next year we are determined to participate. 

___________________________________________________

After the pillow fight we headed up to central park, where the trees were beautiful. 

I am constantly reminded how lucky I am to live in this incredible city. 

I love Spring. 

Later than night Nate & I made the bruschetta from the movie Julie & Julie (and excellent film).

And fondue!

I thought it would be a good idea to "paint" the bruschetta with olive oil.

__________________________________________

Easter was also great. 

Nate made me an Easter basket so we spend all weekend filled with chocolates and cadbury eggs. 

We went to Grace Church. 

Then I went to rehearsal. 

_______________________________________

BUT 

The best part of the weekend would have to be 

Pets on Lex. 

The single pet store that made my heart break with each cavalier puppy I couldn't take home. 

We spent 2 hours drooling over the precious pups. 

Tears were shed. 

The only thing that gave me the grace to leave the petstore without one in hand was the decision I made to do everything in my power to save. 

Now I don't know if you remember this thing:

But the Cavalier Puppy Fund has remained somewhat stagnant at $100 dollars. 

And is now being kicked into full-gear. 

I found a breeder I love. 

And Pumpkin, my future pup, is on her/his way to being earned. 

Oh, and next month for my birthday, donations to the cavalier puppy fund will be deeply appreciated.